If only childbirth WERE full of sprinkles and strawberries.

via Imgur

These sperm cupcakes are sure to go over swimmingly with guests.

Four out of five cannibals agreed this cupcake looked delicious.

Yes, that would be a dismembered baby in the birth canal. Congratulations, mom-to-be!

Finally — a shower dessert that paints a realistic picture of a new parent’s nights with baby.

Here’s a precious “alien chest burster” baby cake. Unfortunately for guests, there is no way to consume such a cake without being impregnated by an alien. Surprise!

Ah, yes, the ol’ crustacean baby shower cake. Keep waiting for The Little Mermaid‘s Sebastian to pop up and start singing, “Under the C(-section)…

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If Burger King were having a baby, this would be his baby shower cake.

From the baker’s J.Lo-inspired collection.

“Wassup, ladies.  Any good games on TV?”

Wow.  What a good-sized cake.  Congrats, indeed!

Don’t judge — it’s obviously cold in the womb.

I’m not blushing, YOU’RE BLUSHING.

Oh dear. This one definitely calls for a C-section. Also: she may have eaten her twin. 🙁

Just keeping you abreast of the latest Pamela Anderson-inspired baby shower cake trends.

Your energy might be flagging as you grow that baby in your belly, but thankfully, it doesn’t take much energy to help save the earth! Our experts impart some, um, “creative” tips for celebrating Earth Day while pregnant:

1. Conserve water by eating off your belly. Then no need to wash dishes!

2. Recycle glass jars into porta-potties! (Hey, you never know when the urge is gonna strike.)

3. Instead of driving to work, succumb to what you really want to do — staying home and sleeping. Think of all the greenhouse gas emissions you’ll save! When your boss asks why you’re not at the office, just let her know: “It’s for the environment.”

An environmentalist at work.

4. Buy a reusable water bottle that not only cuts down on plastic consumption, but reflects your feelings.

5. Compost what you eat every day!

So… sexy.

This is what happens when trying to shave your legs becomes hazardous. Hairy legs, don’t care.

That’s okay.  You can pick it up in a couple months.

Oh, hello there, new friends.

Truth.

No exaggeration.